One thing I have learned is that its better for you to become a leader among kids your own age than it is to be some older kidz flunky.

But if you find the right older kid to guide you, life becomes a lot more interesting.

Bet on it.

We had this dingy old movie theatre downtown. The floors were chronically sticky. Your shoes would catch and snap as you walked. Dennis and I always walked in a syncopated rhythm to the same seats---fifth row in the back right side, second and third seats off the aisle.

Dennis had somehow discovered that the seat directly in front of us in the next row had a broken back. He would lower himself and push the seat back into position with his knee.

The matinee always sold out on Saturday so we got there early and started larding up at the candy counter. I was a red licorice and cinnamon man. Red Hots. Fire Stix. Atomic Fire Balls. Firestix you held on until a bout 45 minutes into the movie, then bent it up smaller and stuffed it into your mouth, where it melted for the rest of the filmmm.

And what films! Where the Boys Are. Y.v.e.t.t.t.e M.e.m.i.o.u.x., or wtf. Cinderfella. I fell for Anna Maria Alberghetti watching that movie and I fell hard. Tammy Tell Me True.

Elvis. Doris Day with Rock Hudson and/or James Garner. Instinctively, even before puberty, you knew damn well that you never wanted to hook up with any chick like Doris. This was, of course, well before you attained the age of reason and realized that Doris is everpresent in all chicks only she never outs herself until after the wedding.

I mean, did you ever even see a movie where Doris was single? A young man could learn all he truly needed to learn if only he'd paid attention, which, of course, he hadn't.

Chubby Checker. "Twist Around the Clock" or wtf. I loved Chubby Checker. EEEEYAH! TWIST!

Seventh Voyage of Sinbad was the best of the best. The Cyclops. That dude was fierce. No mercy on the peeps whatsoever. Worse than facing my old man after I did something wrong then lied about it.

Twenty thousand Leagues Under the Sea. Jimmy Stewart, Henry Fonda. Burt. Kirk. Tony Curtis! Ancient Greco Roman Brooklynese.

RIOTOUS!

John Wayne movies, of course. Out the ass. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. Who shot Liberty Valance. We sang that stupid theme song in our headz for daze afterwards.

Anyway, we'd get back to our seats, occasionally havin to tell some other kidz to move because those were our seats, see.

And along would come some kid and sit down in that seat, and Dennis would spring into action, allowing the seat back to lower a crucial inch or two so that the kid would be startled a bit when he kept falling back beyond where he expected to be stopped. Usually, the kid would look around like "wha?" and then settle back into the seat.

We'd be laffing our asses off as quietly as possible.

Dennis played it beautifully, always. Understated, picking his spots for maximum effect. A true professional in the best sense of the word. The tops would be a kid with a soda, taking a sip as he leaned back and Dennis letting the seat fall away just right so the kid would tumble back and spill soda down his shirt.

RIOTOUS!

Course, we usually were tossed after an episode of that magnitude. The Theatre had a policy on bad behaviour: first citation, which basically consisted of anyone at all complaining about you to an usher for any reason (especially if you were known to have priors), 15 minutes suspension. They made you stand outside by the ticket window.

It didnt matter. We were staying through two showings of the double feature anyway.

Second citation was automatic expulsion.

Fuck it, who cares?